The Whole View, Season 3, Episode 66: Take Your Own Advice w/ Jeffrey Marsh

Welcome back author, educator, and activist Jeffrey Marsh to The Whole View! Previously, Jeffrey has joined Stacy to discuss how perfectionism can be problematic, and their first book, How to Be You. This week, they dive into Jeffrey’s newest book, Take Your Own Advice. They discuss the roots of anger, living with empathy for ourselves and others (yes, even the haters), and why it’s time for LGBTQ allies to speak up. Jeffrey encourages us to truly learn to rest, take care of ourselves, and concentrate more on the “hows” than the “whats”.

Find Jeffrey:

• Website (coaching)
• Instagram
• TikTok
• Take Your Own Advice 
• How to Be You

If you enjoy the show, please leave a review. Letting people know on iTunes or however you listen that it’s worth their time could change someone’s life!

Key Takeaways

Introductions

• Stacy discovered Jeffrey when Kiddo first came into the family, as they are a fantastic compassionate educator. After a coaching call that truly opened a door for Stacy to change her life, she realized their messages applied to everyone – not just LGBTQ folk.
• Jeffrey’s TikToks and compassionate short-form videos have over one billion views. They are a bestselling author, viral TikTok and Instagram star, nonbinary activist, and LGBTQ keynote speaker.
• Furthermore, they were the  first nonbinary public figure to appear on national television, being interviewed on Newsmax in 2016, and they were the first celebrity activist to use they/them pronouns.
• Jeffrey was our our first guest of the show’s new format and has been back one other time to discus their first book,  How to Be You.  This #1 bestseller topped Oprah’s Gratitude Meter and was named Excellent Book of the Year by TED-Ed. As chronicled in ‘How To Be You,’ and here on their prior shows with us, Jeffrey lived as a Zen monk and has studied Zen Buddhism for over 20 years.
• They’re back with their second book, Take Your Own Advice, already a #1 Amazon Best Seller and named by Apple Books as a “Best Book of the Month.”

Take Your Own Advice

• Jeffrey notes that their first book was helping you get to a place to accept who you are and this new book is the next step. When are you ready to accept the wisdom that you already know?
• Last time Stacy and Jeffrey spoke, they discussed that Jeffrey was being targeted directly on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News program in prime time. Since then, Rolling Stone detailed the hate Jeffrey received from the far right and profiled their strong ability to fight hate with love. Additionally, there is much divisiveness and hatred towards the LGBTQ community right now.
• Jeffrey leads with incredible compassion and empathy, while also setting boundaries. They said they can’t comprehend pure evil and it brings them peace to believe that those targeting them and other LGBTQ individuals are just in a lot of pain. They assume that those people are hateful to address an unmet need of theirs. But ultimately that’s not going to work, since they need to do their own work.
• Furthermore, Jeffrey says that they do get angry (which in and of itself is not a bad thing), and they’ve realized theirs is rooted in injustice and unfairness. This is also a whole section in the new book.
• Stacy recalls the story of The Giving Tree. She says that while may people find that to be positive, she remembers thinking “this is awful”. The poor tree just kept giving and giving and giving of itself, not being appreciated, not restoring itself, and died for someone else’s pleasure. Jeffrey and Stacy discuss the concept of feeling valued and being of value and asking who you are doing things for.

Next Steps

• In a lot of coaching, Jeffrey encourages to watch Netflix and snack and love it! They note that it’s a hard thing for a lot of people to do without feeling guilty. To Jeffrey, it’s a form of activism to rest. It’s a form of resistance to rest.
• When you do have “to dos”, do them with kindness for yourself.
• There have been many allies say, “I’m afraid to say the wrong thing”. Jeffrey encourages anyone who is non-LGBTQ, to just do it. It’s no longer time to not say anything and not speak up. You don’t have to know the difference between genderqueer and genderfluid in order to speak about human dignity, respect, kindness, treating other people with love.
• Be a safe space for yourself, first and foremost.

Studies, References & Products

• Take Your Own Advice by Jeffrey Marsh
• How to Be You by Jeffrey Marsh
• The Whole View, Season 3, Ep 01  The Perils of Perfectionism and Ep 13 Ditching Dogma & Embracing Compassion w/ Jeffery Marsh
• The Whole View, Season 3, Ep 30 Understanding Ableism w/ Imani Barbarin

Sponsors

• JustThriveHealth.com/discount/wholeview | Use code WHOLEVIEW for 15% off
• Vegamour.com/wholeview | Use code WHOLEVIEW to save 20% on your first order
• Beautycounter.com/StacyToth | Go to realeverything.com/june to get a custom cart with all of the best deals this month!