Welcome to episode 1 of an entirely new season of the Whole View! This week, Stacy is joined by Jeffrey Marsh, non-binary LGBTQ educator and activist, to discuss the origins, perils, and solutions of perfectionism. Jeffery and Stacy share their experiences with perfectionism, and offer advice and expertise on how to embrace being perfectly imperfect.
Guest Links
If you’d like to have 1:1 coaching with Jeffrey (which Stacy HIGHLY recommends) visit here. Or simply tell them your story in an e-mail to hello@jeffreymarsh.com and they’ll tell you what happens next!
If you enjoy the show, please review it on iTunes or however you listen!
Key Takeaways
Introductions
- Stacy found Jeffrey on Instagram as a non-binary LGBTQ educator and activist. She read their book, took a coaching session, and ultimately walked away with SO much from their short time together. But, one thing that has literally changed how she approaches life is dealing with perfectionism.
- Jeffrey’s journey started with seeking perfection. Caring about being perfect can cause a lot of anxiety and strain. What was a key in the lock moment for Jeffrey was to accept how deeply they wanted to be perfect. Not to pretend like they knew the “spiritual right answer,” but to sit with and find peace because they deeply cared about what other people thought. That they wanted everything to go right, and that’s okay. They can work to change it, but this is where they are.
Relaventism
- A lot of our listeners, like Stacy, have autoimmune diseases. This topic is vital because data indicates that Type A personality is significantly more common in those with autoimmune diseases. Type A characters have traits like impatience, strong career ambition, competitiveness, and increased sensitivity to external stress – all linked to perfectionism.
How We Can Help
- Often we perfectionists do work for others, which can be a detriment to a person’s path. So even when we believe we’re helping someone by doing things on their behalf, we might be hurting them in the grand scheme. It disrupts their journey and their ability to grow and do it independently. We think we’re giving, but we’re taking.
- Much of Jeffrey’s pursuit of perfection was to feel safe in their home. People tend to have issues whenever Jeffrey is their beautiful, wonderful self, which was a huge motivator for them. But what other people do has no direct impact on us, and when people take issue with it, it’s a reflection of themselves and not us. Self-hate reflects itself in our own individual traumas.
- Trauma informs so much of what Jeffrey shares and educates on. It was one of the huge draws for Stacy to Jeffrey as she sought resources for Kiddo. Interestingly, she didn’t understand some of her own basic traumas until she had that lens. When we focus on healing ourselves and lead by example is when others can do the same.
Sources
- data indicate that Type A personality is significantly more common in those with auto-immune diseases. Type A personality is defined by a combination of traits including impatience, strong career ambition and competitiveness. It also includes an increased sensitivity to external stress [source]
- In a study with 3 various groups of men, according to the behavior pattern, were compared with respect to their serum cholesterol levels, clotting times, presence of clinical coronary disease. Clinical coronary artery disease was seven times more frequent in the group chosen as manifesting an intense, sustained drive for achievement and as being continually involved in competition and deadlines. [source]
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Note: Stacy and her guests are not medical professionals. This podcast is for general educational purposes and NOT intended to diagnose, advise, or treat any physical or mental illness. We always recommend you consult a licensed service provider.
