The Whole View, Season 3, Episode 91: All About Grief w/ Audrey L. White

 

The holidays can be an especially difficult time in dealing with grief. CEO of Grief Coach Academy Audrey White and Stacy explore the concept of loss and how to redefine our truth to release the past and reimagine the future.

Find Audrey:

• Website
• Instagram

If you enjoy the show, please leave a review. Letting people know on iTunes or however you listen that it’s worth their time could change someone’s life!

Key Takeaways 

Introductions

• Audrey is the CEO of the Grief Coach Academy, a program dedicated to training coaches on how to help people through grief. 
• She has a Master of Public Health from the University of Michigan with a focus in health behavior and education
• Her passion for healing is borne from her own tragedies when her brother was killed in a murder-suicide.

All About Grief

• Grief, in general, is simply a loss of any kind. There is a loss of something that was once there: Loss of dreams, hopes, physical loss of family or friends, loss of a job, or even a transition that is “good”. It may also be described as a transition of what we expected to what is.
• Life is the totality of the experience, and so there’s extremes on both ends, of tragedy and grief, and also of extreme joy and fulfillment. We experience it all, there’s a whole spectrum. Audrey says that she thinks the challenge for us, as humans is how do we hold everything and not get stuck in one place or the other?
• The common thread that weaves through any grief is that it comes back to the beliefs and thoughts about that loss. Audrey notes it’s important to ask ourselves, is there another way to look at this? Audrey said the “PEACE Method”, which she has used for her own proces and uses with those she coaches works through: Present (or identify) the thought, Express feelings, Accept, see the Contrary, find Enthusiasm.
• Don’t be afraid of what you feel. Get it out. Express everything.
• Is there another way I can look at the thoughts? What else is true? What else could be true? We have a choice in what we believe.
• Stacy notes that this redefining of the truth is different than toxic positivity, which usually is ignoring and pushing down the issue or feelings.
• The power of “and” can be powerful: You can have joy and gratitude AND carry grief.

Next Steps

• Stacy asks if we know we’ll be seeing someone over the holidays who has experienced a loss, what are some ways we can communicate compassionately? What can we say?
• Audrey’s tips:
  • Avoid platitudes like “sorry for your loss” and “you’re so strong”
  • Run into someone at the grocery store? Acknowledge that they’re out in the world: “It’s so good to see you out!” Be present for them, don’t make the loss about you. There are not awards for who lost more.
  • They came over for the holiday party you invited them to! Acknowledge that they came and that’s it’s okay for them to take care of themselves and you’re also so glad they’re there.
  • Honor the people who chose not to come. Just say you understand.
• Especially for close friends, acts of kindness like dropping off food or taking care of a talk can be huge! Just answering questions can feel impossible, so make it so simple: “I’m going to send you a meal – do you want chicken or beef?”

Studies, References & Products

• CNN.com: Why do more people die at Christmas, New Year’s?
• Grief Coaching: Paving a path from Pain to Peace  by Pat Bluth

Sponsors

• Indeed.com/WHOLEVIEW | Get a $75 sponsored job credit
• ButcherBox.com/WHOLEVIEW | Use code WHOLEVIEW to get free chicken wings free for a year!
• Beautycounter.com/StacyToth | The Winter Sale is here!

Want more info on our Real Life? Healthy recipes, parenting tips, and general lifestyle stuff goes out in our Real Everything newsletter, join here.