Welcome Laura Fletcher to the Whole View! This week, Stacy and Laura discuss how grief can manifest, ways to find compassion in healing, and how to better support ourselves and others experiencing grief.
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Key Takeaways
Introductions
- Laura is a certified Doula through Dona International, the leader in evidence-based doula training, certification and continuing education. She is also the CEO of Selah Fertility.
- Furthermore, she’s a bestselling author who detailed her journey through four miscarriages after the birth of her first daughter, Jolene in 2012. She shares the process of pulling herself out of years of grief in her book, The Grace in Grief: Healing and Hope After Miscarriage. Laura gave birth to her second daughter, Isla in 2020.
- Laura became passionate in helping all women in a similar situation after fighting for answers about her own diagnosis with PCOS, Endometriosis and MTHFR.
Grace in Grief
“But what is grief, if not love persevering.” – WandaVision, Marvel Comic Universe
- Love with nowhere to go will pour out of us, whether than manifests physically or emotionally or turns into depression or rage.
- It’s important to acknowledge and honor that there are so many forms of grief.
- Laura says educating herself was important in dealing with her grief. It allowed her to be able to converse with her providers on the same playing field. She became more empowered by having options.
- In supporting someone who is experiencing grief, we don’t want to minimize the loss or grief, and we don’t want to put them on our timeline. We want to give them all the time in the world to process what it is that they’re going through.
- While grief doesn’t ever go away, the burden of it lessens. With support, we become better at expressing it and having compassion towards ourselves and others.
- Laura believes we do have the capacity to heal, given the right tools, support, and time.
Next Steps
- Many people don’t know how to show up for someone who is grieving and those grieving often don’t know how to ask for help. How can we support someone experience grief?
- Don’t ask, just do! Putting the responsibility on the grieving person to figure out what they need can be tough, and it can can feel uncomfortable for the grieving person to ask
- Do household tasks or hire a house cleaner
- Bring or send food
- Take of some of the weigh of other things going on – how can you help with kids, pets, etc?
- Also, give options. For example, if you’re getting groceries, give examples of what you’re picking up and ask if they would like anything else? Give them the option of just dropping off the groceries or offer coming in if they’re up for a visit.
- Share information about support groups. This may be shared with with partner, parent, or someone who can provide those resources to them when if feels appropriate
- Don’t ask, just do! Putting the responsibility on the grieving person to figure out what they need can be tough, and it can can feel uncomfortable for the grieving person to ask
- Language matters! It is okay to be hopeful for someone, but phrase in a way that is compassionate.
Want More? Have Questions?
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Studies, References & Products
- The Whole View, Season 3, Ep 8: (In)Fertility, IVF, and Anxiety w/ Haley Staley
- The Whole View, Season 3, Ep 31: Fertility, Endocrine Disruptors, and Women’s Medical Rights w/ Dr. Lora Shahine
- Dead to Me, Neflix
- The Grace in Grief: Healing and Hope After Miscarriage by Laura Fletcher
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Note: Stacy and her guests are not medical professionals. This podcast is for general educational purposes and NOT intended to diagnose, advise, or treat any physical or mental illness. We always recommend you consult a licensed service provider.
