Being a parent is wild. From the highest highs to the lowest lows, it’s never boring! I talk a lot about life with four teenagers in the house, and I’m sharing two sides of the coin this week: What I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed (hotel mommy to the rescue) and need some alone time and the joy and pride of having one of your kids (who’s almost an adult) reach a huge milestone!
In order to be my best self, I need time by myself. I find I’m less patient, less compassionate, more easily agitated, and less creative when I haven’t had alone time. We started Hotel Mommy in quarantine, the toughest year of my life. The kids were always home with virtual school and Matt was always working. When we introduced the idea it started as “date night” on the porch, and the kids “waited” on us. Then Hotel Mommy was created and we were all better for it! Not only do I get to refill my emotional cup, but I also feel emotionally validated by my partner supporting my needs being met.
see the whole reel about how it works here
So how do we do it?
- I communicate the need. For a while I expected Matt to proactively recognize my needs – that’s impossible. He can’t read my mind.
- We look at our family and personal calendars, and decide day(s) and time(s). Sometimes I got a real hotel for 2 nights, but lately to save money we do it at home.
- We give the kids a heads-up, make sure no one has concerns, and prepare however is needed (usually coordinating rides, activities, and meals).
- Then I go away! If at home, preferably to a clean room with fresh sheets. And I “ring room service” if I need anything. Often “the kitchen” enjoys making and delivering (for a tip).
- No one asks me questions, needs me to make a decision, has me help with parenting in any way while I’m away. I get to turn off my alarm, and choose how to spend the time we’ve all agreed on. Then, when I’m back, I’m BACK!
Episode 53 of The Whole View with Nina Manolson is all about how selfish is NOT a four- letter word. Remember, if we don’t care for ourselves no one else will! By modeling self care like this, you are teaching your children to care for themselves, too!
He’s 17…I knew this was coming. He avoided driving so long in the beginning because it made him anxious. We helped build his confidence and didn’t push him into anything for which he wasn’t yet ready. He’s been driving himself to work with a parent with his learner’s permit and he took some driving classes with a professional to really help him practice and gain confidence.
And now…he did it! He has his license. We’re so proud of Cole for not only expressing his needs, but also taking the steps to reach this milestone. Now when we go on vacation in the upcoming months, he’s going to stay and continue to go to work and DRIVE HIMSELF!
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