The Whole View with Stacy Toth, Season 3, Episode 142: Why Choose a Childless or Sober Life? w/ Ruby Warrington

British lifestyle journalist and author Ruby Warrington joins us to discuss two topics that are not only personal to her, but she has also written about: Choosing to be childless and exploring sobriety. Ruby and Stacy have a vulnerable conversation about what family means, what privilege looks like when making a choice outside of the societal norm and why leading with a question rather than an opinion can allow for deeper conversations about these topics.

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Key Takeaways 

Introductions

  • Ruby Warrington is the British-born author and former features editor of the UK Sunday Times Style magazine.
  • She founded the “Now Age” lifestyle platform The Numinous, and her books include Material Girl, Mystical World; Sober Curious; and The Sober Curious Reset as well as the new Women without Kids
  • She currently resides in Brookyln, NY with her husband and cat, Larry.

Choosing Childless and Sober Curious

Privilege means being in the group where your needs are catered to without question. So you don’t even have to acknowledge that  you have a need, because your needs are just automatically catered for by the way that society or the situation or whatever is set up, because you are “normal”. – Ruby Warrington

Ruby and Stacy have a vulnerable conversation considering the following questions:

  • How did you end up becoming an expert in the intersection of sober curiosity and the decision to be childless – do you think they’re related?
  • How does not having children affects our physical and mental health? Stacy shares statistics about women who do not give birth have a slightly increased risk of breast, ovarian or endometrial cancers, while those without children have a reduced risk of chronic pain and cardiovascular disease. 
  • Whether it’s social media hype or real-world contention, can you talk about the “us vs them” between parents and child-free folks. 
  • Why do you think more people than ever are choosing to go child-free?
  • A Swedish study from 2016 found that it “may suggest that a social support” at end of life “is a possible explanation.” But research over the past decade reflects demographic trends and increasing diversity in family structures that may address that social support. In fact, recent work – a study from 2002 so it’s even more so today – calls attention to the burden of parenting in American society and the absence of public support for parents and children. A study from earlier this year found that a whopping 57% of people under 50 who say they’re unlikely to ever have kids note a major reason as they just don’t want to. Can you share your own experience of what your “family” looks like – break the stereotype for us! 
  • Revisiting the original cross-over of being child-free and sober curious – coming from a “Sex in the City” generation t painted our perspective on what a woman without kids looks like, prioritizes, or how she spends her time – Let’s talk more about what that actually looks like.
  • What have you found the biggest benefits to being sober, personally – but also from those you’ve heard from who have implemented your reset? 

Studies, References, and Products

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Note: Stacy and her guests are not medical professionals. This podcast is for general educational purposes only. It is NOT intended to diagnose, advise, or treat any physical or mental illness. We always recommend you consult a licensed service provider.

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