Parenting during times with so much scary legislation for trans youth and senseless shootings happening lately, has me hugging my kids extra tight. It felt like just yesterday I was sending four teenagers off to school. But that was almost six months ago, and a lot has happened since then! Matt and I work hard to rotate quality 1:1 time with each of the kids. While Matt took out Wes and Finn this last weekend, I had the chance for some more 1:1 time with Kiddo and also with Cole, who I’ve been missing since he’s been working!
We just celebrated TWO YEARS since Kiddo joined our family. Kiddo and I had a chance to connect 1:1 again after our trip to California together. We had great day and shared msuic with each other, we explored and went shopping (again). On top of everything, we had deep, meaningful conversation – the kind that stregthens relationship. For Kiddo this is HUGE because they are unlearning “toxic love” and reframing with a healthy relationship looks like. Not every day is easy, but every day is absolutely worth it, and I am so proud of all of the progress we have all made since expanding our family!
The Best Parenting Feeling in the World
Since Cole has started work, I haven’t seen him as much and I truly miss him! We got to go out for dinner together at a local seafood restaurant, and we were talking about after graduation, what that would look like and expectations at home, since he wants to do community college before culinary school.
He plans to stay at home, work part-time, get his Associates degree, and then figure it out. I personally think this is a great idea! Not only do I get to have him around for a bit longer, but also I wish more people were open to the idea that not only is college not the end-all be-all anymore, but it pus so many people in unnecessary debt bofre they’re old enough to udnerstand the weight of that or really knowing what they want to do.
Throughout our conversation, I was thinking what it was like to be his age, and I felt the need to apologize to him, “I remember being your age and just desperately wanting my parents to apologize. I want you to know that I’m human. I know I’ve made mistakes. Please know I love you and I’m sorry.” His response:
In typical teenage fashion he mostly ignored my very big feelings dripping out of my eyes, but it meant the absolute world to me. We all need reassurance sometimes, and while I don’t like to make it a habit to get it from my kids, it filled my heart more than he could have imagined.
Parenting is a Journey
I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned a lot from my four kids, Matt, other parents, and therapy! We have worked a lot on effective communication and tried hard to raise independent kids. Whether you had a day full of tear-inducing, full-heart, important conversations or slammed doors, rolling eyes, and the wrath of tandrums or teenage angst, it’s okay. And you’re not alone.
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