The Whole View, Season 3 Ep 13: Ditching Dogma & Embracing Compassion with Jeffrey Marsh

Welcome Jeffrey Marsh back to the Whole View! This week, Stacy and Jeffrey discuss embracing compassion and how embracing compassion can change your outlook on life. Jeffrey shares their experiences with hate, and how self-compassion helped them find peace in their space.

Find Jeffrey: 

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Key Takeaways

Introductions

  • Stacy found Jeffrey on Instagram as a non-binary LGBTQ educator and activist. She read their book, took a coaching session, and ultimately walked away with SO much from their short time together.
  • We first spoke to Jeffrey back in Episode 001 of the new season. So if you haven’t listened to that yet, the focus was on perfectionism and how that’s detrimental to health and serves us in a very toxic way.
  • We spend our whole lives at war with ourselves and constantly feeling less than because of societal and cultural structures and standards. Breaking it down to simple acts of kindness for ourselves the same way we would for others may seem too little too late. But Stacy found it extremely effective this was for me.

Ditching Dogma & Embracing Compassion

  • I think another thing I love about the concept of self compassion is that it enables one to have more compassion for others. I’ve realized since healing things for myself how much that hurt caused inadvertent actions or behaviors that were harming others: hurt people hurt people.
  • A story that sticks out in Stacy’s mind is one Jeffrey shared on Instagram of a direct message exchange from someone who was being hateful. Jeffrey had such compassion and kindness. It was remarkable and inspiring to read. And ultimately that person shared that it wasn’t really about Jeffrey, and came around in a HUGELY positive way.
  • Self-compassion is a very handy way to put it because love seems impossible to a lot of people. The only version of love that most of us were taught was conditional.
  • Jeffrey’s parents tried just about everything to get them not to be LGBTQ, and they actually can completely respect that. Their parents didn’t want to think, talk, or face it. But Jeffrey’s choice was pretty clear that they couldn’t be in relationship with each other.  

Topics discussed

  • interview with September Letters: It’s one of the great ironies that when you need the most kindness and self-compassion, you are the least talented at giving it to yourself. Right in the beginning, you need an ocean of kindness, compassion, self-love, and probably your talent for giving that to yourself is itty bitty. What you need to do is work on your talent for giving yourself compassion and the most convenient place to start is wherever you happen to be. I know this may sound catch-phrasy, but say you send out an email with three misspellings, or your dog is barking in the background of the Zoom. Can you in that moment say: I love you. Thank you. I know you’re trying hard. Can we just work with the thing that’s happening now, and then we’ll get to, I’m going to be happy, in a little bit.
  • If you’d like to have 1:1 coaching with Jeffrey (which Stacy HIGHLY recommend), you can visit: https://www.jeffreymarsh.com/coaching or simply tell them your story in an e-mail to hello@jeffreymarsh.com and they’ll tell you what happens next!
  • Stacy also highly recommend the audio book. She loves when they’re read by the author! She did get Kiddo the physical book because they are a paper-turner. Check out, How to Be You: https://amzn.to/3KEvZQX

Want More? Have Questions?

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Note: Stacy and her guests are not medical professionals. This podcast is for general educational purposes and NOT intended to diagnose, advise, or treat any physical or mental illness. We always recommend you consult a licensed service provider.

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